The Star Wars losers are a full on cult, we all knew this already. Candace Payne fits that stereotype to a T. How in the name of God can someone be that amused with this stupid ass Chewbacca mask? This mask is for children ages 5-8 and no grown ass mother should be this excited for a purchase of any kind, let alone a mask that makes noise when you open your mouth. This was supposed to go to her goddamn kid, I am sure her kid will hate her forever now that this thing went viral. He or she is probably getting stuffed in a locker as we speak and soon will be attending therapy for all the shame and embarrassment they are going to feel. Unless you are Will Ferrell or John C Reilly in Stepbrothers, you cannot make Chewbacca cool. The fact that this video has over 30 million views pisses me off even more. Is laughing hysterically at yourself with a Chewbacca mask on, alone, in your car, in a KOHLS public parking lot, the newest 15 minutes of fame now? The last time I checked, that would put a person away for a long time. What the hell has this great country come to? The other issue is the fact this video is not even a little bit funny. How do you rack up that many views from a video this bad? I think the Star Wars cult is truly that strong, a nation of losers like this lady, ready to rack up views for the cause. Well, I hope this 15 minutes was worth the psychological damage this is going to do to her kid. Here's hoping the force will be with him.
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I often get asked, “Wow Ross, how are you able to put out such amazing content in your blogs?” My weapon of choice? It happens to be my laptop, which was a high school graduation gift in 2008. It has a lot of character and charm. I liken it to a childhood baseball glove that you use until it wears out because nothing else feels as right and as comfortable. It has seen a fair share of things, most of it X-rated. But it has stood by my side through all of the battles life throws at you. This Dell is so old it does not even have a built in camera on it. When I went away to college, I had to borrow a clip on web-cam for any Skype action that was surely NOT going to happen. Hey, I think I want to listen to some tunes on it. Wait! This beauty does not have that feature any longer! It randomly stopped playing sound a couple years ago. I can’t believe she is almost a decade old now. I truly believe she will never die on me, and if she does, I will rest safely kn owing all of the raunchy shit this machine has seen can be shared in PC heaven. The basic bitch of laptops before basic bitch was a thing, the Dell Inspiron, reporting for duty: PS- This is my exact model and notice there aint no flashy camera in the middle of this little sweetheart.
My first blog I had ever written on this site was about MLB Network’s Bill Ripken dropping ass on live TV (read it!). Well that son of a bitch struck again tonight! The rest of the guys on set sound none too pleased with Billy Rip, in the video. The man is a serial farter and may kill off all the analysts from the network with his toxic gas if he is not stopped soon. They need to stuff him in a tiny closet with somebody else’s farts trapped in a jar and release the farts in his face, he needs a taste of his own medicine, or in this case, someone else's.
ESPN and the rest of the world are so used to the Minnesota Vikings losing that they incorrectly posted that the Packers won the 2015 NFC North Division title.
Let’s give ESPN a break here, the Vikings have been a losing franchise for close to a decade now. But the team did themselves no favors by responding back to ESPN with this: Sam Bradford looks like a little boy who just took a shit in his diaper, but then he looks up at you with that precious little smile and innocent stare, and you cannot be mad at him. You can only smile back and encourage him. Similar to Stuart, from Mad TV.
You heard it here first: The brother of the best quarterback in the league, Jordan Rodgers, will be taking home his own trophy this season. He will take home that trophy in the name of one, Jojo Fletcher. She’s the 2016 bachelorette, or newest loser who can’t find love, despite being one of the better looking humans walking this earth. I absolutely HATE everything to do with The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, but you can bet your sweet ass I will be tuning in for Jordan Rodger’s portion of the show. He is a very impressive specimen and VERRRYY dreamy. He’s got the face and personality to take home to mom, and the ability to communicate with pops over a beer after lifting heavy things and landscaping the yard.
Is this really the world we live in now? This weather lady, Liberte Chan, was told on air to put on a sweater to cover up. Cover what up?! This chick looks like she is heading out to her first middle school dance, and all the horny little school boys would not even look twice at her for this getup. It’s not like the dress is even tight or any cleavage is being shown. “There is too much shoulder being shown and I don’t like how much knee is being exposed.” This is the response that I imagine most feminist women who have a problem with this dress are sending into this broadcast. Get this shit outta here.
How many times per year do you hear this token phrase, “The loser tonight has to pay for dinner tomorrow.” Whether it is a former teammate, a younger brother vs an older brother, neighbors vs former neighbors, Eskimo brother vs Eskimo brother or whatever other possible scenario you can dream up. You cannot tell me these multi millionaire athletes are only betting dinners and nothing more than that. As a guy that likes to bet the ponies myself, I cannot stand the bullshit any longer. I want to know the real bets and what is actually at stake for a game or match or whatever it may be.
According to a Billboard article, Kim Kardashian seems to think that her husband, Kanye West, saved Lamar Odom’s life with his music. I absolutely despise the Kardashian’s and everything they stand for, which is actually nothing at all. This article is almost too predictable even for their standards. I’m convinced this is all a ploy to make even more money by producing even less in society. There is no way these dumb bitches can be so stupid and naive to think MUSIC, brought a man on death’s door back to life! Now, maybe if this was the old school Kanye rapping and singing to a vegetable-esque Lamar Odom, seemingly making him rise from the dead, would have a bit more merit. But if this is the new Kanye, with his shitty music, pretty sure this would have just killed Lamar instantaneously and Satan himself would have just sent him back to the living world.
From the beginning of time superheroes have had to deal with some kind of adversity in their lives. Peter Parker, aka Spider-man, had to battle a radioactive spider bite. He also battled being lame as shit with no friends and living with his aunt and uncle who were much more hip and cool than he was. Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, had to battle a shitty heart and a father who didn’t care about him. We could go on and on about these types of stories and how they overcame their adversities to go on and become legends in the comic book game. Even if the kids that worship them are still pissing their beds in their early teens, and afraid to look at girls. These are still titans of the industry. Thor happens to be a newer super hero. He stands a mountainous 6’6 and is comprised of 240 pounds of pure, hearty, sexiness. He has flowing gold locks that even a surfer bro would be jealous of. His super power is throwing 98-100 MPH missiles at defenseless men standing a mere 60 feet 6 inches away. If this doesn’t sound like the star Marvel character to you, it shouldn’t. I am describing New York Met starting pitcher, Noah Syndergaard, aka Thor.
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AuthorJust a boy bloggin about life. Archives
October 2016
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