It all started last Friday afternoon, I was airing out my rugs because I was cleaning my bathroom. I left the screen door open and in flew a tiny little chap. He couldn't have been much more than 2 years old. It was a fly! Now you're probably thinking, "Ross, now what in the heck are you doing leaving your screen door open for ten minutes?! You are a dumb asshole for that!" Well I have no defense for that, It simply slipped my mind. I didn't really care that this stupid fly was inside until it kept flying around my head. Everyone knows the most annoying sound in the world, a fly buzzing dangerously close to your head. All you hear is the buzzing from the tiny bastard, as it seemingly mocks you and taunts you as it continues to circle you. Anyway, it left me alone for the rest of the night so I forgot about him. Well I'll be a son of a gun if the little chap doesn't come buzzing around my face around 3 AM and wakes my ass up. I was beyond angry but I was too tired to get up and kill it. Well 7 AM rolls around and he wakes me up again! Once again I am too lazy to get up and am able to sleep for two more hours. I leave my place all day Saturday for a nice little Saturday with the boys. I am sleeping beautifully and then 4:30 AM hits, he strikes again! I start swearing aggressively and flailing my hands up at the night, because that will surely do the trick. It didn't. I go back to sleep and arise at 10 bells, (very impressive, i know). Mr. Chap flies by my head and that was the last straw. I trapped him inside my window, between the screen and glass and I leave him there for 24 hours, laughing and mocking him as he flies around in that tiny space. I arise today for work and to my surprise Mr. Chap had passed. He was lying there on his back/wings, he looked like he was in the fetal position. I was overcome with guilt. I had lost my tiny companion, I hated him but I still felt guilty. I was going to free him later that day. The end.
Mr. Chap