The ears must be ringing at 1265 Lombardi Ave these days, Ted's purple/maroon lips must really be quivering. The 4-5 Packers are making another mid-season roster move by claiming former Seattle Seahawk Christine Michael. Say what?! On the surface it looks like Ted is trying to reshape or retool with the limited options on the market at the running back position. In reality, the move does nothing at all to this team. THEY DON'T RUN THE FOOTBALL ANYWAY! All this move does is give them another body that has an RB title to his name. This is similar to the Knile Davis move. However, that move made more sense than this one (James Starks was still hurt at the time and Donnie Jackson was all they had. I still believe Don Action Jackson never got a fair shake). This move REEKS of desperation for a team that clearly still has no identity to it. Are they all of a sudden going to shift to a running team with a two back system? Seems highly unlikely considering they ran the ball a grand total of ten times last Sunday, not counting the teams lead back, Aaron Rodgers. I know this could be contributed to the teams 21-0 hole they were put in, but it also does not seem to be a priority for the 2016 Green Bay Packer team, at least since Eddie Lacy went down in week 5. I am totally fine with them abandoning the run for a 90-10 ratio, at least they have been moving the ball much better since adopting that style. I can't imagine Teddy being influenced at all by the outside noise, but this move does not change anything for this team. Christine Michael is no better than Knile Davis and I assume he will be released after the Seahawks game (if he even makes it that long). Why not put Montgomery in the backfield again? He barely logged any snaps last week and James Starks SURE AS HELL is not a good enough reason to make a change in personal just so they can say they have a true RB playing the position. Most people are probably excited that Thompson is at least trying to make moves (2) by bringing in other players. I find it more concerning that he is doing this. It speaks to the fact that this team is not in a great state and mainly that the RB position is an absolute shit show. This move is not going to scare teams into thinking the Packers are something they clearly are not, and that is a running football team. I hope I am wrong as fuck on this move, but I will not be.
The bell sounds and it is everyone's favorite time of the school day, RECESS! Who didn't love recess time? It broke up the school day and got us kids out and running around. We were able to breathe the fresh air needed to relieve the scent of the token kid in class who always seemed to fart but never wanted to claim it (Is it just me or did all elementary school farts smell the same?). It cleared our sinuses from the shitty lunch being brewed up from the crabby lunch ladies, as the smell of that god awful macaroni casserole filled your classroom and made your stomach queasy inside of you. Unfortunately, the grind of elementary school lunch is the price you must pay to get those 30 minutes of freedom each day. You have to battle that stray black hair in your soup, or the putrid taste of industrial cans of corn that may or may not have been served in WWII. The reward was always the constant, recess. Recess was for every kind of kid, ranging from booger eaters that enjoyed using the outside wall to stick their salty treats onto, from the jocks that enjoyed a nice game of touch football on the gravel to the girls who just enjoyed gossiping about who could or couldn't grow tits yet. My recess was always based around how many touches I could get on the battleground, aka the 40 yards of blacktop we roamed while playing hard-nosed touch football while wearing uniforms. Not the kind of uniforms our sports heroes wear, I'm talking school uniforms. I went to catholic school up until high school and I wouldn't trade those navy blue, white, or red polo shirts for anything! They were our badge of honor and really offered a great sense of flexibility for all of us. Getting back to recess, some could call me a young Theo Epstein, the way I maneuvered trades involving my hot lunch was something to behold. You want my chicken nuggets? You’re gonna have to pass me the ball at least 5 more times a game that day. Hot stove season was every day when it came to Ross' hot lunch. Anything and everything was up for grabs. (Except Pizza Hut day, a fat kids gotta eat, and boy was I ever fat.) I was the Randy Moss of playground football, soft hands and great size, just a freak of nature. I even had the same great positive attitude as well. I was so selfless and always a team player, SIKE! I think that is what made me such a playground warrior, my ability to sacrifice my own food for the betterment of myself and my playground stats (yes, I kept stats for myself on a game that was played on an unmarked "field" of blacktop. I just guessed it was 50 yards) I didn't care if we won or lost, as long as I was getting mine, nothing else mattered. I was a leader in that way. I let the QB have it if I wasn't getting the ball enough. I feed you (literally) you feed me, that was my motto. For all the kids out there, the key to getting the ball more is to simply trade away some lunch pieces and soon YOU will be the franchise. It is really about being the team player and I am a prime example of that. PS: I don't know about you guys but we had to eat a certain amount of food on our trays or we couldn't go to recess. My biggest challenge to trade was that disgusting corn. I liken it to an old washed up veteran in the trenches, offers great expertise of the game but just not a lot of on field value. A very tough piece to move. I used to hide it in my mouth and go upstairs to the bathroom and spit it all out in the toilet, and i didn't flush it either. That is what a true ballplayer does when pushed to the brink. Take notes kids. It is about sacrifice. Some days I would leave school absolutely starving because I needed those extra passes more than I needed food to fuel me. That is when you know you want it badly. Legend. There is only one musical artist that tickles my fancy more than Justin Bieber, and we all know how Bieber makes me as giddy as a goddamn school girl. So who could make me even more excited, you ask? That number one magical musician is none other than Mr. Phil Collins. I have 48 of his songs "legally" downloaded on my iPod and have been longing to attend one of his concerts in the near future. A man whose voice makes girls panties wet and men's penises fully erect at the sound, is a special man indeed. I was worried when I saw his name came up today, I thought my beautiful bald friend had perished. He has had some health issues in the past and I was extremely close to turning off all my lights and sitting in the dark while listening to his songs in tears. Luckily that was far from the case, the legend had just belted out an AMAZING version of his hit song "In the Air Tonight" on The Tonight Show last evening. Not only is he alive and well but the son of a bitch even had his shirt collar popped! If Phil is popping his collar I am going to start popping my collar like it is 2007, all over again. That is how you announce your presence! Phil is such a goddamn showmen, he gets it. Without further adieu, here is the performance. Ladies, best to watch this with a fresh set of undies you can pop on after the show! Fellas, time to position yourself for the boner tuck. Don't say I didn't warn you. PS: If anyone, ANYONE thinks this song does not have the BEST drum solo in the history of music then you need to reexamine your entire life's worth.
With the Cleveland Indians facing the Chicago Cubs in the World Series, good friendsLeBron James and Dwyane Wade have placed a friendly wager on the outcome. James is rooting for the Indians and Wade, who plays for the Bulls and grew up in Chicago, is hoping the Cubs break their curse and win.
Wade, in a video Tuesday for UnInterrupted, revealed the loser will dress in the winning baseball team's gear and wear it to the next NBA game of the winner. So if the Cubs win, James will wear a Cubs outfit to the Dec. 2 Cavaliers-Bulls game in Chicago. Same goes for Wade: If the Indians win, he wears Indians garb to the Jan. 4 Bulls-Cavaliers game in Cleveland. With the Cleveland Indians facing the Chicago Cubs in the World Series, good friendsLeBron James and Dwyane Wade have placed a friendly wager on the outcome. James is rooting for the Indians and Wade, who plays for the Bulls and grew up in Chicago, is hoping the Cubs break their curse and win. Wade, in a video Tuesday for UnInterrupted, revealed the loser will dress in the winning baseball team's gear and wear it to the next NBA game of the winner. So if the Cubs win, James will wear a Cubs outfit to the Dec. 2 Cavaliers-Bulls game in Chicago. Same goes for Wade: If the Indians win, he wears Indians garb to the Jan. 4 Bulls-Cavaliers game in Cleveland. "Bron, the bet is this." Wade says in the video. "We're both fashionable guys. We both love to dress. We both love to feel good and look good, so whoever's team loses, the loser has to show up during the NBA season to the other guy's home game dressed as the team who won." "Example, if the Chicago Cubs win, in December, when Cleveland comes to Chicago, you have to show up when you walk into the arena, dress like a Chicago Cub and vice versa. If the Cleveland Indians win, in January, when we come to town, I'll walk in dressed as a Cleveland Indian. I'll have the hat on, the top and the bottom, the socks, all the way down to the sneaks." James agreed to the bet, which should create some memorable photos. James already has a leg up on Wade in the bet as the Indians won Game 1. OMG!! NO WAY! Dwyane and Lebron a couple of near billionaires, have really done it this time. One of the CRAZIEST sports bets you will ever hear. I CANNOT believe these two went there and bet that the loser of the Cubs and Indians World Series match-up would actually have to dress up in the opposing teams gear! This is new level pro athlete betting, these guys have always been classified as pioneers of the "new look" NBA and they darn sure are pioneers in the pro athlete wager game. I can't believe they would be bold enough to go where no pro athlete has ever gone before. These two must not actually be best friends with a ruthless bet like this one. I don't think you will see them riding on a banana boat anytime soon. I have officially been a "witness" to an absurdly wild bet, I just hope this doesn't ruin either of their reputations around the world, because this is almost crossing the line. Any true Packer fan remembers the brutal 2005 season, all the panic and madness that ensued when star running back Ahman Green and hamper shitting back-up, Najeh "Couch or Davenport", were lost to season ending injuries (sounds familiar, eh?). The Packers finished 4-12 but they found a diamond in the rough in undrafted rookie free agent, Samkon Gado. We all remember the stupid signs of "In Gado we trust" displayed throughout the stands of Lambeau that season. One of the few bright spots that lost season was indeed Samkon Gado, the Nigerian Nightmare, part deux! He ended the season rushing for 562 yards with a 4.1 ypc average and six touchdowns. He came out of nowhere and gave the city an unsung hero to cheer for, and then disappeared, never to be heard from again in the football world, save a few cups of coffee with the Texans, Rams and Dolphins. Well Don Jackson is going to be stepping into a similar role for the Packers. This time the season is far from lost and there is a HUGE opportunity for him to step in and make some plays. I understand the acquisition of Knile Davis will offer a 1-2 punch, but I believe Don will impress and be able to keep the running game a threat opposing defenses need to respect. Why should I believe an unknown like Jackson can turn some heads? It is pretty fucking simple, we boast one of the top offensive lines in football and even without Lacy bouncing off tacklers, we simply need a running back that is decisive and can make the one cut and go that is essential in a zone blocking scheme.
Enter Mr. Donnie Jackson 5! He has good size at 5'10 and 209 pounds, he played in a zone system at Nevada and my favorite part? His high school teacher once was quoted saying, "He will be dead or in jail before he is 17." This according to Rob Demovsky, an ESPN staff writer. I love it! I want my running back to be a little rough around the edges. This stage should not be too big for him if the dude has already been in life and death situations. Don't get me wrong, I love Eddie Lacy and I hope he can come back in week 15 and I REALLY hope he resigns next year, but I think Don Action Jackson can hold the fort down until then. Once he blows up you can come back to this blog and thank me. He will make James Starks a distant memory, and what a better way to burst onto the scene than the always competitive and never sloppy Thursday Night Football scene!? Don Sorry Ms. Jackson is going to be FOR REAAALL, start believing in this team, Packer fans! PS: Samkon Gado is actually a doctor now, seems as though these two stories LITERALLY couldn't be more opposite when you take out the football aspect. Oh well, Go Pack Go, you dirt bags! Do yourself a favor and read his story: http://www.rgj.com/story/sports/college/nevada/2015/08/14/life-saved-don-jackson-story/31749275/ So many deserts are great by themselves but there is only one TOPPING that satisfies all my needs and wants, and that is caramel. I could eat it all day long, an apple? Caramel please! How about a nice little dish of ice cream? Caramel please! How about some nice Werther's originals from your grandmas house? I will add EXTRA caramel to that, please! I have eaten it on multiple occasions by the spoonful and I am not afraid to admit it. Sometimes when I feel bored and sad (after another shitty Packer loss by a clueless offense) I will head straight to the fridge and spoon me up some brown sugary goodness and gob it onto something edible. Fridge you say?? Well yes I do say! That is part of the beauty of caramel, it is like the Swiss Army Knife of toppings. You can eat it cold, hot, or room temperature and you are still getting the full taste effect. My caramel edible objects range from a carrot to a cute sized mini cracker. I am a savaged beast when it comes to my caramel. Something about that sticky texture that makes it so appealing to me. I like it caked to the roof of my mouth and enjoy the challenge of trying to lick it clean, sounding similar to a cow chewing cud. Heck, sometimes I'll get some on my hand and have myself a nice little treat for later, not even realizing it was on there for hours! I don't know what made me so obsessed with caramel, but anyone who doesn't agree that it is the best topping every created isn't worth a lick!
It all started last Friday afternoon, I was airing out my rugs because I was cleaning my bathroom. I left the screen door open and in flew a tiny little chap. He couldn't have been much more than 2 years old. It was a fly! Now you're probably thinking, "Ross, now what in the heck are you doing leaving your screen door open for ten minutes?! You are a dumb asshole for that!" Well I have no defense for that, It simply slipped my mind. I didn't really care that this stupid fly was inside until it kept flying around my head. Everyone knows the most annoying sound in the world, a fly buzzing dangerously close to your head. All you hear is the buzzing from the tiny bastard, as it seemingly mocks you and taunts you as it continues to circle you. Anyway, it left me alone for the rest of the night so I forgot about him. Well I'll be a son of a gun if the little chap doesn't come buzzing around my face around 3 AM and wakes my ass up. I was beyond angry but I was too tired to get up and kill it. Well 7 AM rolls around and he wakes me up again! Once again I am too lazy to get up and am able to sleep for two more hours. I leave my place all day Saturday for a nice little Saturday with the boys. I am sleeping beautifully and then 4:30 AM hits, he strikes again! I start swearing aggressively and flailing my hands up at the night, because that will surely do the trick. It didn't. I go back to sleep and arise at 10 bells, (very impressive, i know). Mr. Chap flies by my head and that was the last straw. I trapped him inside my window, between the screen and glass and I leave him there for 24 hours, laughing and mocking him as he flies around in that tiny space. I arise today for work and to my surprise Mr. Chap had passed. He was lying there on his back/wings, he looked like he was in the fetal position. I was overcome with guilt. I had lost my tiny companion, I hated him but I still felt guilty. I was going to free him later that day. The end. Mr. Chap
EW- Demi Lovato took to Twitter on Tuesday to announce that she has had enough of the Hollywood spotlight, and will be be retreating from the public next year.
The 24-year-old tweeted, “So excited for 2017. Taking a break from music and the spotlight.. I am not meant for this business and the media.” Lovato has had a jam-packed 2016, spending much of the year promoting her 2015 album Confident, and took to the road alongside Nick Jonas for a string of co-headlining concerts from June to September. The announcement comes after Lovato spoke out about celebrity “squads” in an interview with Glamour, where she referenced Taylor Swift’s group of friends and said, “I don’t see anybody in any sort of squad that has a normal body. It’s kind of this false image of what people should look like. And what they should be like, and it’s not real.” This won’t be the first time Lovato has announced a break. Back in June, she quit Twitter, telling her 38 million followers, “Damn I gotta quit sayin s—. Bye Twitter,” but was back within 24 hours, saying, “F— this.. I’m back bitches. And I’m coming back more honest than ever.” Lovato hasn’t said what she’ll do with her time off, but she tweeted at a fan, “It doesn’t feel worth it anymore. “I’d rather do charity work [to be honest].” This was a major blow for me. Demi Lovato put out some amazing songs and really improved the worlds self esteem and confidence. Her music was perfect for top down weather with the girls, looking for some hot new summer clothes, while singing along to her catchy lyrics. I just envision cruising down Rodeo Drive blasting "Confident", in a convertible sipping on a basic Starbucks iced coffee, vanilla of course. Demi Lovato truly made summer cool, much like her song titled, "Cool for the Summer". I enjoyed her style of music and always rushed to ITunes to preview her newest song releases. She also happened to call out body shaming. She was so pure and real the world couldn't handle her. Now look, we drove her away like a bunch of savages! The media is so cruel, the world is so cruel! I think we should have lifted Demi Lovato up, we should have given her heart a break, much like her song titled, "Give your heart a break". We should have been nicer to her and her beautiful messages she portrayed in her songs. I can barely even type this, the tears are flowing and my heart hurts so bad! I wish I was as brave as Demi, like her song titled, "Really Don't Care", I too wish I didn't care as much. I will continue to play your songs, Demi. I will never forget you, and I will truly try to "Let it go". JERMICHAEL FINLEY CALLING OUT RANDALL COBB FOR GETTING PAID AND NOT PERFORMING REEKS OF JEALOUSY9/30/2016 Here I am just working my tail off listening to some local morning sports radio when former Packer tight end, and a highly educated man, Jermichael Finley comes on the show. (Air'n it out on The Fan:107.5 if you are interested in listening to shitty takes for 4 hours). He had some harsh words about Randall Cobb and his lack of production so far this season. He essentially said Cobb got paid and now he doesn't work as hard or care as much. While Cobb has been frustrating the past season and a half, to call out a man's work ethic is a low blow and one that screams of jealousy on Finley's part. Obviously getting paid and having an abundance of guaranteed money to fall back on (13 million to be exact) is probably a great feeling, I do not think this correlates with the amount of work he has put in at "the lab" as the kids say these days. I totally understand that Finley would be jealous. The guy was an absolute IDIOT but he was a special weapon in the Packers arsenal and the Packers haven't come close to replacing his production and god given abilities to stretch a defense since. Guys who have 4.6 speed and a 6'6 frame and built like a brick shit house do not just grow on trees. It was very unfortunate his career had to end on the Lambeau turf in 2012, but that is the price you pay for playing the great game of football. Finley also fails to understand that Cobb left plenty of money on the table by not signing with the shitty Raiders or Jaguars who both offered him more money to come play for perennial losers. I am sure the fact that 78,000 people aren't cheering for you anymore is a HUGE adjustment to make, but Finley can't complain, he cashed in on a 10 million life insurance policy and is still in good health as a normal civilian who is not playing pro football. He should be doing just fine for himself and his 12 children (assuming he has that many, with plenty of baby mamas to go around). I always liked Finley on the field but couldn't stand him off the field. I think that is the direct effect of one of my friends approaching him at a bar for a picture, and him straight up DENYING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. It was actually pretty hilarious at the time, but now that I am writing this it isn't as funny. He was also walking out with THREE girls in his hip pocket, what a dick. Leave some for the normal people, there aren't exactly an abundance of good looking women to go around in Green Bay/ De Pere. Then again, who the hell can compete with a man that impersonates a fin as beautifully as this: You couldn't find a more accurate depiction of a fin if you turned on Animal Planet! It is poetry in motion for God sakes!
My man Kevin James is at it again! They don't want me to make another King of Queens type of show, so I made another King of Queens type of show. (DJ Khaled voice) I felt deprived and embarrassed waiting on something that could capture my attention in the way that my favorite show of all time could. In fairness, not everyone is as smart as Kevin James, but I digress.
The best actor and also the funniest man on the planet has struck again, baby! The new show is titled, Kevin Can Wait and it airs on CBS. I was hoping and praying it would be similar to King of Queens and I knew within the first minute I got what I was looking for. The first scene was cast in a smallish kitchen in their very normal to modest home, Kevin is the every man, after all. The whole setup reminded me of the original home from King of Queens and that is when I started to cry, I realized I was going to be able to fall in love all over again. The only negatives I have is that his wife is not a complete bitch like Kerry was, and there is a noticeable loss without Jerry Stiller, aka Arthur. It is so close to King of Queens that he even has replacements for Richie (the idiot Italian friend) and Deacon (the black friend and IPS coworker) as there is one black friend and one Italian idiot in the new show. Kudos to a smart man like Kevin, staying in his own lane and demographic and producing this show. There hasn't been a show like King of Queens since it left the air and enough time has passed to want, NAY, NEED more of the same comedy in the world. Early on you get classic Kevin, making fun of his weight and how much he eats, that really made me feel at home and so happy inside. I wanted to reach right into the TV and give him a big ole bear hug in our matching sweatpants and t shirt, again he is a classic every man and his wardrobe has not changed either (I.E. Mets shirts and shorts/sweatpants). He also is now a retired cop, gotta say, I miss that ass in those crisp army green IPS shorts, but some change can be a good thing. Bottom line here, If you don't like the show I probably don't like you or want to speak to you. You either roll with Kevin James and his comedic brilliance, or you just don't know funny. Period. |
AuthorJust a boy bloggin about life. Archives
October 2016
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